Chapter 3Bodhicitta and Dealing with Harm

With the foundational practices established, Tokme Zangpo now crosses the threshold into the advanced path. Everything up to this point has been preparation. Now comes the great turn -- the moment when the practitioner's aspiration expands from personal liberation to the liberation of all sentient beings without exception.

This chapter covers eight verses (10 through 17) and contains some of the most challenging instructions in the entire text. First, Tokme Zangpo presents the two classical methods for generating bodhicitta: recognizing all beings as mothers (verse 10) and exchanging self for others (verse 11). Then he takes us into the fire -- six successive scenarios of harm, each more provocative than the last, showing how the bodhisattva transforms every blow into an offering.

Verse 10: Developing Bodhicitta

When your mothers, who've loved you since time without beginning, Are suffering, what use is your own happiness? Therefore, to free limitless living beings Develop the altruistic attitude -- This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

Here the aspiration for personal liberation, so beautifully expressed in verse 9, is questioned. Yes, liberation is good. But is it enough?

The reasoning is rooted in one of Buddhism's most profound contemplations: the recognition of all beings as mothers. Throughout beginningless time, you have taken countless rebirths. In every one of those lives, someone cared for you. Every sentient being, at some point in the vast expanse of time, has been your own mother -- has carried you, fed you, protected you, sacrificed for you with the fierce and tender devotion that only a mother knows.

And now those beings are suffering. They are wandering through the six realms -- as hell beings in unimaginable pain, as hungry ghosts tormented by insatiable craving, as animals driven by fear and instinct, as humans battered by birth, aging, sickness, and death. If you truly recognize them as your mothers, how can you sit comfortably in your own liberation while they drown?

This is the engine of bodhicitta. Not guilt, not obligation, but love -- the same love you feel for someone you care about deeply, extended without limit to every being who has ever lived.

The "altruistic attitude" (byang chub kyi sems, bodhicitta) is the wish to attain complete buddhahood not for your own sake, but because only a fully awakened being has the wisdom and capacity to truly help all sentient beings find freedom.

Verse 11: Exchanging Self for Others

All suffering comes from the wish for your own happiness. Perfect buddhas are born from the thought to help others. Therefore exchange your own happiness For the suffering of others -- This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

This is the second method for generating bodhicitta, and it is perhaps the most radical instruction in all of Buddhist literature.

Tokme Zangpo states the principle with devastating clarity. Trace any instance of suffering back to its root and you will find self-cherishing -- the habitual prioritizing of "my" happiness, "my" comfort, "my" needs over those of others. Killing arises from protecting what is "mine." Stealing arises from wanting more for "me." Lying arises from shielding "my" reputation. Every harmful action springs from the soil of self-grasping.

Conversely, trace the causes of buddhahood and you find the opposite: the thought to help others. Every perfect quality of a buddha -- the omniscient wisdom, the boundless compassion, the effortless activity for the benefit of beings -- grew from the seed of cherishing others more than oneself.

The practice of exchanging self for others, which finds its most extensive treatment in Shantideva's Bodhisattvacharyavatara, does not mean that you literally trade your physical circumstances with someone else. It means that you reverse the habitual orientation of your mind. Instead of making your own happiness the center of your universe, you place others there. Instead of running from your own suffering, you willingly take on the suffering of others through the practice of tonglen -- giving and taking.

In tonglen meditation, you breathe in the suffering of others, visualizing it as dark smoke that dissolves into the self-cherishing at your heart, destroying it. You breathe out your own happiness, merit, and well-being, sending it to all beings as radiant light. Over time, this practice erodes the rigid boundary between "self" and "other" that is the root of all samsaric suffering.

Verse 12: When Someone Steals from You

Even if someone out of strong desire Steals all your wealth or has it stolen, Dedicate to him your body, possessions, And your virtue, past present and future -- This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

Now the real test begins. Having generated bodhicitta in meditation, how do you respond when life hits you in the face?

Someone driven by overwhelming desire steals everything you own. The natural response is outrage, a burning sense of injustice, a desire for retribution. Tokme Zangpo's instruction is the exact opposite: not only do you not seek revenge, not only do you not become angry, but you actively dedicate to the thief your body, your remaining possessions, and all your virtuous karma from past, present, and future.

This is not masochism. The logic runs as follows: through the practice of bodhicitta and tonglen, you have already offered everything you possess to all sentient beings. Your body, your wealth, your merit -- all of it has been dedicated to others' awakening. So when someone takes your possessions, they are simply collecting what already belongs to them.

Furthermore, consider the thief's situation. Driven by desire so powerful that it overrides their moral sense, they create terrible karma for themselves. If you respond with anger, you increase their karmic burden -- because harming someone who suffers makes the karmic weight heavier. If you respond with compassion, you lighten it. Your non-anger is itself a gift to them.

Verse 13: When Someone Tries to Kill You

Even if someone tries to cut off your head When you haven't done the slightest thing wrong, Out of compassion take all his misdeeds Upon yourself -- This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

The intensity increases. Now it is not your possessions at stake but your very life, and you are entirely innocent.

This verse describes the ultimate tonglen. Even facing death at the hands of an unjust aggressor, the bodhisattva's response is compassion. Rather than cursing the attacker, the practitioner takes upon themselves all the negative karma the aggressor has accumulated -- not just from this act, but from all their misdeeds.

This is the practice of the great bodhisattvas celebrated in the Jataka tales -- the stories of the Buddha's previous lives, where again and again he offered his body and his life for the benefit of others. It may seem impossibly remote from our daily experience, but the principle operates at every scale. When someone cuts you off in traffic, when a colleague takes credit for your work, when a family member says something deeply hurtful -- each moment is a miniature version of this verse. Can you meet harm with compassion rather than retaliation?

The practice does not ask you to be passive. It asks you to be free. Free from the reactive patterns that would have you strike back, escalate the conflict, and create more suffering for everyone involved.

Verse 14: When Someone Slanders You

Even if someone broadcasts all kinds of unpleasant remarks About you throughout the three thousand worlds, In return, with a loving mind, Speak of his good qualities -- This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

From physical violence, Tokme Zangpo turns to a different kind of harm: the destruction of reputation. Someone spreads lies about you far and wide -- throughout, the verse hyperbolically says, the entire billion-world system.

The instinctive response is to defend yourself, to counter the slander with your own version of events, to attack the attacker's credibility. The bodhisattva does something entirely unexpected: speaks of the slanderer's good qualities, and does so with genuine love.

This is not strategic restraint or passive aggression. It is a genuine shift in perception. Every person, no matter how harmful their behavior, possesses good qualities. They have shown kindness at some point. They have some measure of intelligence, some capacity for love, some spark of buddha-nature that will one day blaze into full awakening. The bodhisattva finds those qualities and speaks of them.

This practice has a remarkable effect. When you refuse to engage in the cycle of attack and counter-attack, the cycle loses its energy. And when you actively praise someone who has harmed you, it confuses the entire dynamic of conflict. It opens a space where reconciliation becomes possible.

Verse 15: When Someone Humiliates You Publicly

Though someone may deride and speak bad words About you in a public gathering, Looking on him as a spiritual teacher, Bow to him with respect -- This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

Public humiliation strikes deeper than private criticism. It attacks not just your sense of self but your standing in the eyes of others. Tokme Zangpo's response is extraordinary: regard the person who humiliates you as a spiritual teacher and bow to them.

Why a spiritual teacher? Because a good teacher is one who shows you your faults so that you can correct them. If the criticism has some truth to it, then you have been given a precious gift -- someone has revealed a blind spot that you might never have discovered on your own. If the criticism is baseless, it is still a teacher -- it shows you where your ego is most sensitive, where your identity is most defended, where your practice most needs deepening.

The instruction to bow is not symbolic abasement. It is a practice of genuine humility -- the recognition that every encounter, no matter how painful, can serve your awakening if you are willing to learn from it.

Verse 16: When Someone You've Helped Turns Against You

Even if a person for whom you've cared Like your own child regards you as an enemy, Cherish him specially, like a mother Does her child who is stricken by sickness -- This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

This may be the most emotionally challenging verse in the entire text. It addresses the unique pain of betrayal by someone you have loved and cared for.

You have given everything to this person -- your time, your energy, your love, as though they were your own child. And they turn on you, regard you as their enemy, repay your care with hostility. The wound cuts deeper than any blow from a stranger because it strikes at the heart of trust itself.

Tokme Zangpo's instruction is achingly beautiful: cherish them even more. Not less. Not the same. More. Like a mother whose child is stricken by sickness.

When a child is ill, they may lash out at the very parent who tends them -- screaming, hitting, saying "I hate you." But the mother does not withdraw her love. She recognizes that the child is not in their right mind, that the sickness is speaking, not the child. She draws closer, not farther away.

This is how the bodhisattva views those who turn hostile: as beings sick with the afflictions of anger, confusion, and pain. Their hostility is a symptom, not a statement. The correct response is not to take it personally but to increase the medicine of love.

Verse 17: When Someone Beneath You Disparages You

If an equal or inferior person Disparages you out of pride, Place him, as you would place your spiritual teacher, With respect on the crown of your head -- This is the practice of bodhisattvas.

The final verse in this chapter addresses the particular sting of being looked down upon by someone you consider your equal or your junior -- in status, in learning, in accomplishment.

The ego responds with special fury to this kind of slight. When a superior criticizes you, you can at least rationalize it: "They know more than I do." But when someone "beneath" you dares to disparage you, pride rears up: "Who do they think they are?"

Tokme Zangpo cuts through this with a single instruction: place them on the crown of your head, with the same respect you would show your root guru. This is the highest position of honor in Tibetan culture -- the crown of the head is where you visualize the Buddha, where you receive blessings, where the most sacred things reside.

The deeper teaching here is about the source of inspiration on the bodhisattva path. Inspiration comes from two directions: from above, through the buddhas and teachers who show us the goal; and from below, through the suffering beings for whose sake we walk the path. Both are indispensable. Without beings to serve, there is no bodhicitta. Every person who challenges you -- especially the ones who seem "beneath" you -- is offering you the raw material for awakening.

Shantideva expressed this powerfully: since the attainment of buddhahood is equally due to the kindness of sentient beings and the kindness of the buddhas, why do we show reverence to one and not the other?